Posted by
Dick on Sunday, May 03, 2009 11:15:53 PM
MAYDAY! MAYDAY!!
An Attack of the Bias And Bull is Imminent!
– THE BIASED BUNCH –
(Sung to the tune of The Brady Bunch Theme Song)
HERE’S THE STORY OF A MAN NAMED KARL MARX
WHO WAS INSPIRING TWO GUYS NAMED VLAD AND JOE.
THEY WERE BOTH PSYCHOTIC COMMIE PINKO KILLERS,
FREE MARKET HAD TO GO.
HERE’S THE STORY OF A BILLBOARD BUSINESS
THAT A MAN NAMED TED TURNED INTO A NEWS EMPIRE.
IT WAS 24 HOURS OF BULL AND PROPAGANDA,
TED’S VANITY BONFIRE.
THEN BRAINWASHED TED BECAME A BIG FAT LIBERAL CRACKPOT
HIS TALKING RED-HEADS WERE BRAINWISE OUT TO LUNCH.
THEN FOX NEWS WAS BORN AND KICKED THEIR ASSETS,
THAT’S THE WAY THEY ALL BECAME THE BIASED BUNCH.
THE BIASED BUNCH,
THE BIASED BUNCH.
THAT’S THE WAY THEY ALL BECAME THE BIASED BUNCH!
The socialist communist staff at CNNSSR celebrated May Day with a day of hate-for-conservatives-Republicans-religious people-gun owners-filled festivities and the unveiling of a 40 foot tall cardboard cutout of Hussein Obama (disguised as Jesus Christ) in their headquarters lobby. All the legendary BIASED liberal/regressive™ mainstream media perpetraitors were there.
BIASED evil genius and BIASED founder of CNNSSR, Ted Turpid together with talking red-head Wolf Ditzer, BIASED anchor of THE FABRICATION ROOM, presided over commie pinko fun and games along with their guest of honor, Googlie CEO, Eric Shmuk.
Larry Shwing was also there to BIASLY promote his renown BIASED talk show. Unfortunately, the self-hating Jewish talk show host fell into a coma in the corner, and nobody could revive him. Then everyone realized he had just fallen asleep like he always does in the middle of an interview.
Andyscandies Cooper showed up with his latest boyfriend. The host of Andyscandies Cooper 369° was preceding each of his mingling intros with “I AM NOT JEWISH!” as he pinched his boyfriend’s cheek.
Jack Dafferty was seen stumbling around in a half-drunken stupor mumbling to himself, “dam bush - dam cheney”. Obviously in a deep depressive funk over not having Conservative Republicans in Washington to kick around anymore. He’ll have to be satisfied with hating religious people, gun owners, and the Chinese people.
Soldoutdaddy O’Brien and Reek Sancheez, BIASED anchors of CNNSSR Worldcrib and CNNSSR Bullroom were manning the BIASED bleeding heart liberal/regressive™ table and taking contributions for “Friends of Frik and Frak” - Hussein Obama’s kids. The bulk of the charity money will then go to whoever can eliminate and silence Rush Limbaugh, Bill O”Reilly, Michael Savage, Ann Coulter, Sean Hannity, Brent Bozell, Laura Ingraham, Matt Drudge, and William F. Buckley. Wataminute, they don’t have HIM to kick around anymore either, do they?? Of course, they would never think of condemning or even reporting on the countless number of hate-speech attacks from the pathologically MESHUGA liberal/regressive™ media - but n-o-o-o-o-o-o-o! It’s HANDS OFF:
HE DAILY KOZ, KEITH OLDBERMAN, THE HUFFINGTON POST, BILL MAHER, CHRIS MATTHEWS, MICHAEL MOORE, RACHEL MADDOW, AL FRANKEN, Hugo Chavez, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, and Osama Bin Laden (I thought I’d just include a couple of their heroes). Their biased hate-speech against Conservatives, Republicans, Religious people and gun owners will be protected by their beloved “Saint” Hussein Obama and his fascist anti-free speech dictatorial legislation being rammed through Congress and the Senate.
And of course, BIASED Iranian Christiane Amarzipan was there, representing the European and British bureaus. CNNSSR has closed their Middle Eastern bureau, as they don’t want anyone knowing the truth of what is going on there. All their reporting on the Middle East will now be done from a Universal Movie Studios back lot. According to BIASED CNNSSR, the official status of the Middle East is that Israel is a war-mongering despotic empire, and Saudi Arabia, Syria, Pakistan, and Iran are peace loving nations that are taken advantage of and exploited by the evil empires of the greedy, money hungry United States and Israel. By the way, she was sporting the latest in burka fashion from the Middel East. Even though women do not wear burkas in Iran, she wants to be the first, in anticipation of Ackmadinawhackjob allowing Taliban and Al Qaeda rule in her home country.
Last and also least, Jeannie Mensch made an apperance, bringing up her BIASED rear and had everyone roaring with laughter. Of course, not as much laughter as her fans have enjoyed over the years with her BIASED liberal/regressive™ reports on the weirdo side of life. Never failing to take a cheap shot at Conservatives, Republicans, Religious people or gun owners at least once during her BIASED reports, she has reported on everything from two headed mayors of San Fransicko and peanut-brained hippies to blind, hairy palmed liberal/regressive™ bloggers and infomercial actors without souls.
The May Day festivities were concluded with kissing the butt of Premier Hussein Obama’s cardboard cutout and a candle light group sing of “Imagine”, “Kumbaya”, and “GIMN SOVETSKOGO SOYUZA” - the former Soviet Union national hymn. There wasn’t a dry eye, or a clear conscience in the house.