Be afraid, be very afraid. The slasher/horror movie syndrome is alive and well, even if most of the characters in them aren’t, at least by the end. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. It’s just that, hey, when you’ve got kids whacking each other in school, you’ve got to begin to wonder. I remember when I was  kid, play war with my friends using toy guns and rifles and helmets and all kinds of cool stuff in the local vacant lot. PRETENDING to kill your best friend who was PRETENDING to be a kraut soldier. Good, healthy, clean fun. At least we weren’t ACTUALLY killing each other. And the movies we were emulating were good old fashioned patriotic good guys against the bad guys stories where the bad guys were the Nazis and WE were the good guys. Liberal/regressives™ seem to have that reversed these days. And the good guys never gave up and WON and REALLY SAVED THE WORLD. Clear as a bell, the Liberty Bell.
Ah, but I digress. Here’s just a handful of the slasher/horror movie plots from the Blogbuster archives:
URBAN FEAST BEAST 4 - MICHAEL MOOREON EATS NEW JERSEY:
The corpulent crud master becomes possessed by the spirits of Orson Welles and Marlon Brando and goes HOG-wild grazing across the garden state sucking up everything in site. Then uses Hollywood for a toilet. Of course, his fraudumentary scripts come in handy for wiping up.
SLEAZERAISER - LARRY FLINTHEAD, APPOINTMENT WITH LUCIFER:
Larry Flinthead receives a message from his infernal benefactor, “Larry, it’s time Larry. Oh Larry. . . Time to make good on your part of the bargain. Oh, alright, I’ll let you have a few more years up here. But remember, when the time comes, you’re mine! HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HAAAAAAAAAA!!”
SCARY ROSIE:
A farcical romp through various  stages of the most frighteningly ugly and pathetic thing on the face of the earth - Rosie O’Donnells’s life.
A NIGHTMARE ON DEAN STREET:
Howard Dean slashes and hashes his way to Hollywood - then to New York - then to Washington D.C. - then to Chicago - then to Paducah - then Atlanta - then to the sea - then Podunk - then New Jersey -
YEEEEAAAAAHHHHHHRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHRRRRRR
HHHHHHGGGGGGEEEEEAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!
THE HOLLYWEIRD CHAINSAW MASSACRE 6 - BILL “LEATHERFACE“ SHMAHER
BUZZES MALIBU:
The hateful Mr. No-talent Shmaher finally cracks, and flips out at all the butts he’s kissed over the years. One by one, the liberal nutjobs all along the left coast start dropping like flies from the deadly buzzsaw of his suck-egg bad jokes.
SLUMBER PARTY MASSACRE 12 - BARBARA BOXHEAD AND NANCY EPELOPSI SLEEP IN:
The two sisters of sedition crash a slumber party of the teen children of the only conservative parents in San Fransicko, eliminating them one by one by boring them to death.
HALLOWEENIE 13 - THE LEGEND OF LARDBALL:
Chris Wrathpoos terrorizes his small home town of Bogus, PA with pathological whining and belligerent, hateful, offensive and erroneous diatribes against conservatives, in a vain attempt to top the treacherously false statements of Keith Doberman.
NAIL GUN MASSACRE II - KEITH DOBERMAN SHOOTS OFF:
The hateful psycho big mouth, professional whiner, and empty head of MSNBC trades in his wads of paper for a nail gun and goes on a shooting spree in the Land of Eternally Low Ratings. But all he manages to accomplish is eliminating all the MSNBC cameramen.
Have a nice Haloween.